Our First Invasion

Have you ever seen one of those old vampire movies where the camera shows a bat flying directly at you, strings visible?

Imagine that, without the strings.

One evening, shortly after we moved here in August, I was unloading some boxes in the kitchen when, suddenly, Husband yelled from the living room, "What's that?" He had been quietly studying for his Medical Board exam when a shadow passed through. Yes, it was a bat.

I came from the kitchen at the back of the house, and while heading to the living room at the front, this small furry rodent came flying at me in the dining room! It swooped around the room a few times, then passed into the darker kitchen where it perched, nearly unseen, on the top of one of our original cupboards. Did I mention we have 12 foot ceilings? I didn't even see it, but the animals all stared at one corner. I looked more closely: there it was, looking so tiny as it clung to the hinge on the door. I have always liked bats, but the animal protector in me REALLY turned on when I saw how very small it really was.

How to keep two dogs and five black cats in a house when you need to get a bat out?? Ugh!

I called the non-emergent number at the county police. A female dispatcher answered. It appears that if you turn on all the lights, open a door to the outside, then throw something white outside (balled up sock, etc.), the bat will fly after it into the darkness, thinking it was a moth. EASY! Husband and I geared up for our game plan.

Yeah, somehow, on the day they taught this trick to baby bats, ours didn't get the memo and missed the presentation. For the next 2 hours, any neighbor driving by must have thought us lunatics, running from room to room, trying to corner this seemingly tiny mega-force!

Finally, after much bowing and shrieking (on our part), and dodging (on its), we managed to get it isolated in our enclosed front porch. It was then we realized some brainiac had put both screen doors together wrong! The sliding latch to hold it open was blocked by the spring that is supposed to go on the other side ~ another UGH!

So, adding to the fun of having a bat on the porch, listening to the dogs and cats egg it on through the windows overlooking the porch, and watching this thing swoop endlessly around our heads, Husband cussing and shrieking, I managed to pull the springs off the doors, injuring my fingers as they snapped. Joy.

With Husband proudly holding the doors, I threw endless white "moths" out the door, to no avail. I took a last stance (or so I thought) and got the spray bottle of water. As it flew toward me, pissed now (I was convinced), I would spray it, hoping it would swerve and go out ONE of the doors! When, at last, it was no longer swooping, we concluded (ha!) that it had gone out while we were ducking out of its way. Case closed, or so we thought.

Yes, we came home the next night to all the curtains off of the front windows. The bat was swooping - still on the porch, the cats and dogs were going nuts, and there lay Miss Ida's lace curtains, in a mess on the floor.

This time it was personal!

While Tim held the door outside so he could see better, I held up a rug in its path, fully expecting a face-full of bat. Instead, it did swerve this time, out into the night.

What kind of idiot am I? I still want to put up our bat house!